I once heard that matters of the heart are the most painful experiences to encounter in life. I have learned that this is true. We hear about grief, and when we think of grief, the first thing that usually comes to one’s mind is the loss of a loved one who has taken their last breath in this lifetime.
What about feeling the loss of having to walk away from a relationship, whether that be from family members, extended family, a partner or marriage, a workplace or a friendship? Perhaps being on the receiving end of having those scenarios being pulled from you.
What about the grief for the loss of life a woman experiences within her when a developing baby stops growing in her womb. The emptiness as she feels lifeless as an end to life literally passes through her. The guilt and shame that can come with the failure of not being able to, or not wanting to, nurture and nourish at that moment in time. What about the man in this situation and how the loss affects him, if at all?
What about the life we are actively building with someone we love and who we believe loves us, which gets torn apart through infidelity, made even more painful when the betrayal is with another person in our life who we love, and we believe loves us?
What about the loss of the life we thought we would have as we move past our grief and look for joy in the future; the dreams that are shown to us as we sleep, the visions that are shown to us when we are in meditation that don't seem to come into fruition? As days pass and each present moments fails to bring the future and life we desire.
What do we do when we are in despair? We pause from life. We dive deep into ourselves and into our heart. We explore how we feel about it, ALL of it. We may try to bypass the darkness and pain by distracting ourselves with anything we can. This form of spiritual bypassing often causes a repeat cycle of experiences that our souls are trying to grow from. We repeat the cycle until we fall to our knees once more. Do we use this opportunity to face ourselves, or do we continue to do what hasn't worked for us each time?
It is my experience, and I have witnessed many times, that it is in the acceptance and surrendering of the situation that causes the biggest healing cycle and the flow of life as we work through grief. It can be effective to ask ourselves:
"What do I want from life?"
"How do I want to feel?"
"What do I want to experience?"
"What do I want to achieve?"
It is best practice to take a specific person out of this scenario as we can't and shouldn't influence the free will choice of another. We shouldn't manifest on another's behalf. It is not an expression of love to force will upon another, it is control. It is not love to control, it is fear. The need to control a specific outcome usually stems from an earlier trauma that has not been acknowledged, accepted and integrated. Once we realise why we feel the way we feel, we can then work through the healing phase and giving ourselves the closure we need. We give ourselves love and compassion instead of self loathing and pain.
Pull back energy from the other person in the situation if there is another party involved, fall back into your heart space and ask yourself the questions mentioned above. Make notes of how you can take steps to achieve your desired experiences. As you pick yourself up and walk through your grief, you'll surely see your life flourish once more. You'll breathe new energy of cultivating growth, health, wealth and abundance on every level. You'll become successful in navigating life with all its ebbs and flows.
Sending much love and well wishes
Abby
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