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The Stigma of Leaving a Marriage

I’ve been doing much reflection over the last few weeks as I’m thrown through another healing cycle. This new moon in Pisces has been most unkind! But the sooner it’s cleared the better, and things have settled down again pretty quickly. In addition to this, all the mention of International Women’s day and breaking the bias has got me thinking about the way I was treated by those closest to me when I made the incredibly difficult decision to leave my marriage back in late 2019.

Before I go into a little more detail around this, I feel I still have judgement cast on me when I go on dates, get asked the question about the history and why I left. I can’t explain the truth so early on, so a broad reason is given.

Being a woman who walks out of a marriage, in my experience, raised many eyebrows. People around me couldn’t understand the decision I made. The opinion was that when things got tough I left. This couldn’t be further from the truth. For years I fought to save my marriage. For years I fought to be a good wife. For years I fought to become a mother. For years I fought to have my voice heard. For years I fought to have an equal say in any decision. For years I fought to express myself. For years I fought to receive the same level of love I was over giving to someone who didn’t appreciate it. Until one day, I prayed for my freedom. I prayed to save myself. I prayed for genuine love. As the months went on I found the strength and courage to start a new life for myself. Even though I had many knives thrown in my back from those who I thought loved me, I kept walking. I removed the swords that were placed both in my heart and in my back. I mended my wounds, some reopening causing a great deal of pain. With love for myself, with love from God, with love from very few people in my life, with love from new people entering my life, I managed to transform. The road to recovery is far from easy. But one day, you’ll see yourself in a new light. You’ll fall into a place of acceptance, with a fresh shield of armour.

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